Stroke Yourself To Climax

The following is a list of things that you should take with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lemon. When your mate Dave turns round to you and says he would do a better job than Emile Heskey for England. When your mate Dave turns round to you and says that he can pull anyone of Girls Aloud. When your mate Dave turns round to you and says that he's a better chief than Jamie Oliver. When your mate Dave turns round to you and says that he's got the top ten greatest albums of all time sitting in the glove box of his Escort XR3i. And why should you take the latter with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lemon? Because one of those albums is Craig David's Born To Do It.

Earlier in the year, MTV asked their viewers what they thought the best album has been since the channel first went live in 1982. Sitting top of the tree with no real surprises was Thriller by Michael Jackson. Other albums the grace the top ten include Oasis' Definitely Maybe, Appetite for Destruction by Guns'n'Roses, Nirvana's Nevermind and OK Computer by Radiohead. And then we have Craig David. The MTV viewing public deemed his debut album Born To Do It so good, that they sat it at number two. And the result of that makes me want to slice off my ears with blunt razors and feed them to Chinese Bull Pigs.

I've always taken these "Greatest Album of All Time" charts with a pinch of salt. And the latest from NME is no different. The weekly music magazine have announced their top 50 albums of the decade. Now, there is some fantastic music in there, but for me, there is no consistency with these sorts of things. The entire industry and public will now be making unnecessary noise about the 'latest' top album.

The winners this time round are The Strokes with their 2001 album, Is This It. Now, although there is no denying that this is a good album, the last decade has supplied us with better. However, not many bands have been championed by NME quite as much as The Strokes have. Although I'm not implying that there is any invested interest from NME to have the American five-piece come out on top, it all seems to be a little weighted.

The top ten is listed below. And as you will see, it reads quite well. However, I would advise you read the rest with a little lemon and salt to hand.

1. The Strokes – 'Is This It'
2. The Libertines – 'Up The Bracket'
3. Primal Scream – 'XTRMNTR'
4. Arctic Monkeys – 'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not'
5. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – 'Fever To Tell'
6. PJ Harvey – 'Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea'
7. Arcade Fire – 'Funeral'
8. Interpol – 'Turn On The Bright Lights'
9. The Streets – 'Original Pirate Material'
10. Radiohead – 'In Rainbows'