Human physics is simple. If you're a boy, from the age of dot to about seven you think that girls smell. However, if you're a girl you think that boys are disgusting. Then between the age of seven to nine you start to find the opposite sex attractive, but daren't say anything through fear of ridicule from your peers. At the age of nine things start to come out in the open and it's deemed as socially acceptable to hold hands with the other gender.
So, what do you do to a young Nick Carter at the age of nine in a primary school play? You dress him in some weird looking bird outfit and stick him in tights. Now let me tell you, this doesn't go down well being a young lad about the school yard trying to make his mark on kiss chase. Being only nine years, when I was told I had to wear tights, I didn't know how to research my emotions in a suitable fashion. So I just cried... In tights. I was mortified. Everyone else was mortified. It was that simple.
I still stand by the fact that I never wanted to perform in the god damn play in the first place. I wasn't happy with the set up and they refused to supply my rider. By the time I reached the age of ten, I was finally over the trauma of the tights. It took a while, but I finally got there. Being ten meant I was in the last year of my primary school education. And by being in the last year of infants meant that there was absolutely no chance in hell that you can get out of performing in the leavers play; which I obviously I didn't want to be a part of.
The play was Cinderella. And I was one of the Ugly Sisters. Yet again I endured totally humiliation at being taken, against my will, out of my comfort zone. It's because of these two events that I now consider myself a comfort sitter. This is why I can't understand why other people choose to do things that is blatantly going to make them look a complete tit.
Take Carl Barât for example. Barât is a phenomenally talented musician who has achieved major success with The Libertines, and more recently the Dirty Pretty Things. This is a man who, along with Pete Doherty, wrote epic records such Up the Bracket and The Libertines. He's a multi-award winning artist who has gained plaudits from some of the industry greats. He is one of rock & roll's success stories that can really do no wrong... This is within his comfort zone, mind.
Carl Barât's comfort zone is obviously making music. It doesn't take someone with a Masters in Economics to work that out. And quite frankly, if you're as good as doing it as what he is, why do anything else? In fact he shouldn't do anything else. He should stay in his comfort zone through fear of messing everything up for the sake of narrating a film on the London Docks.
Yep, you heard that straight. Ex-Libertine Carl Barât is narrating a film about the death of the London Docks. Now, I think I speak on behalf of the majority when I say that all I want to hear Barât talk about is the man that would be king, or the fact he can't stand me now.
I don't care what his opinions of the Thames Barrier are. However, it does concern me that by telling people he's going to be out of his comfort zone. And by being out of his comfort zone he's going to be open to humiliation, tights and looking like an ugly sisiter.
Check back tomorrow for an exclusive CarterSaidWhat interview with Kid Harpoon.
